Sadness overwhelms me at the the idea that self-perception is a social construct.Could our very nature be determined by society's expectation?Am I calm, gentle and nurturing because others imbued these characteristics into this vessel called my body rather than aggression, temperament and the insensitivity which is thought to be above this physical construct?Are my rhythm, flow and beat a true reflection of the puzzle termed femininity?
Looking back on childhood, memories of running wild; climbing trees and playing tricks on unsuspecting passers-by come to mind.Are these not the bread and butter of the nostalgia of "innocence" past? Where is their blue or pink tag?
What about the little rendezvous behind he house or secluded spaces around the yard where "house"; "show me yours and I'll show you mine"; "The Days of Lives" or even the giggle inducing "Blue Movie" you were not supposed to see, were those re-enactments always with the little Thabo's or Nomsa's of our dusty 'lokshins' streets?We all had best friends...
Growing up I now have to cover this naked frame so that you should not see, when just yesterday we all ran naked under summer's sprinkler valve. Is this where the whole notion of lacking self-control in the "stronger" sex stems from?Will you really unravel and violate at the exposure of this de-robed sight?
Why am not represented outside the demure, sensual and lascivious? Why can I not be allowed to suffer the same cancerous fate of shady corners by the spaza shop; the biggest piece of meat; sweat-dripping, muscle-ripping work and an expected exit when duty calls,abandon the seeds of my labour and then compose a catchy tune of these, my exploits?
Am I really living the life I want to or merely responding to the laws of living,to an all-seeing eye, moralizing and acting as a collective corrector of human behaviour?Do we ever get time to really shine or are we merely filling preconceived spaces?I laugh and resign because I think that I might have already missed the boat, right now I can only think about whether or not to have this stompie.
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